April 2024

 Haven’t posted in a long time. Stayed for awhile at an Air BnB in Chester, Nova Scotia. Basically living the life and chilling. I’ll post again soon. Thanks everyone.

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 👀 Clip from Colin Brunton’s The Last Pogo Jumps Again.

I WANT TO BE A YANK WITH LYRICS

 

I Want To Be A Yank

This of course is the 1977 iconic CARDBOARD BRAINS White EP with I Want To Be A Yank, Living Inside My Head, Can Stress Kill, and of course our pre-pistols cover of the Monkees (I’m not your) Stepping Stone. The Canadian punk outfit FUCKED UP did a successful cover of I Want To Be A Yank, however the lyrics aren’t correct. So I would like to take this opportunity to present them in their full glory.

“WHO REALLY CARES ABOUT MAGGIE T.?

I’M REALLY SICK OF THE CBC.

THE KIDS ARE ROTTING AT U. Of T.

JUST TO WORK FOR THE U.I.C.

RENE LEVESQUE’S THE MISSING LINK

CBC TV PROGRAMS REALLY STINK

YOUR MONEYS ALL DOWN THE DRINK

I WISH I DIDN’T HAVE TO THINK.

U.S. THEY GOT TAINTED HAM

U.S. THEY GOT SON OF SAM

U.S. THEY GOT SIRHAN SIRHAN

U.S. THEY GOT VIETNAM

I WANT TO BE A YANK!

WHO REALLY CARES ABOUT MAGGIE T.?

I’M REALLY SICK OF THE CBC

THE KIDS ARE ROTTING AT U.of T.

JUST TO WORK FOR THE U.I.C.

U.S. THEY GOT JIMMY CARTER

U.S. YOU CAN BE A MARTYR

U.S. THEY GOT WORLD SERIES

U.S. I CAN LIVE ON TV

I WANT TO BE A YANK!

Maybe the Canadian punk band FUCKED UP didn’t want to use the real lyrics at the risk of offending the CBC (they CBC aired a segment on them featuring the song, but I think The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation would see the ironic humour inherent.

That version of CARDBOARD BRAINS 1977-1978 should have put out an LP instead of an EP. The band comprised Paul O’Connell on bass, a Brit by the name of Rich Miller on Drums, Vince Carlucci and John Paul Young on Vocals and lyrics.

BAD LUCK AND TROUBLE: BUSTED AND SHACKLED

 

I will get into this in much more detail at a later time, but for now I want to expose some initial truth.

My brother passed away July 1996. I reformed CARDBOARD BRAINS in April 2000. I did the movie KILLER RATS in March/April in Bulgaria with Ron Perlman. 

After an abysmal and unproductive 1990’s I was approaching 45 and hitting my stride by the time I was back in Toronto. I had money in the bank (MEG Entertainment in my mother’s name), I was buff and at my physical peak of health. I had a martial arts trainer, I did one hour of cardio each day plus weight training. Bruce Lee had become my new role model and I was adopting the philosophy of Jeet Kune-Do.

I was at John Gundy’s house, formerly owned by producer Bob Ezrin. John Gundy was a patron who was Executive Producer of the White and Black EP’s of CARDBOARD BRAINS.

His being knowledgeable in legal and financial matters, I told John I was slated to inherit a great deal of money and I thought I should put my affairs in order so to speak. I asked him what I should do. He advised me to put everything under one umbrella and go see HEENAN-BLAIKIE LLP. Where coincidently David Quinten Steinberg, drummer for THE MODS who appear on THE LAST POGO. (BOMB RECORDS), film by Colin Brunton, works as a Senior Entertainment Lawyer.

I  subsequently met with Christina Buchlie, a former Line Producer, then a Junior Entertainment Lawyer with Heenan-Blaikie. Heenan-Blaikie is a prestigious Bay Street law firm.

Christina Buchlie was extremely nice and extremely helpful when I gave her an overview of myself and my family and the wealth that was rightfully to inherit. She told me what to do, such as making a will, incorporating myself as an artist and how to make myself litigation proof. I left the offices of Heenan-Blaikie elated on a June bday in 2001and decided to check out one of my passion's, books, particularily books on film. I jaunted through downtown Toronto first to Theatrebooks and then onto Chapter’s on Bloor Street by Bay Street.

I went to the magazine section where the film mags were situated, and picked up magazine entitled POV. To my surprise, the cover of POV advertised an article on my old friend Director Peter Mettler. I hadn’t seen or heard of Peter Mettler since I served in some capacity as a consultant for some world spiritual journey film he was working on. That was in 1996, immediately after the death of my brother.

Opening POV and reading the article on Peter Mettler, I was awestruck to read the article which began something like this: “Rarely does a journalist get to view unedited footage of a filmmaker's work but this is the case for Peter Mettler’s new documentary. The film begins in Mettler’s hometown of Toronto with a walk and a talk with a friend who vividly describes his battle and experience with HEROIN ADDICTION…”

I was outraged. My regretful experience with heroin took place after the tragic death of my mentor Charles Luna M.D. in 1993 and lasted only three horrible years and the again tragic death of my younger brother William Robert Stuart Young in July 1996 and my subsequently going to REHAB at Homewood in Guelph Ontario.

I grow fatigued now. It’s been a productive early morning session. CIAO.

In September 2001, EXACTLY when the twin tower 9/11 attacks occurred…

Let me fast forward. I want to put some spice in this blog. All astoundingly true. My mother suddenly died, my father turned into Satan incarnate. He amassed an army against me. I was kidnapped and my murder attempted. Then after the premiere of Gambling Gods and LSD I was falsely arrested an astounding six times and falsely imprisoned four times.

And that took up ten years of my life. And when I was imprisoned in the MAPLEHURST CORRECTIONAL COMPLEX I was actually shackled with leg irons everyday to go to court. That’s when I wasn’t locked in the HOLE.

There I said it. I’ve been beating around the bush for a long time. But I haven’t anything to hide or be ashamed of. Let the shame be upon all those responsible. I believe in full transparency and full disclosure.

I’ve got a sprained wrist from falling on the ice the other day, so I have to take a break from writing. I read this just now on my iPhone, and it sounds pretty crazy. But true.

When Nancy Pelosi’s husband was attacked with a hammer, allegedly, the media analyzed the accused man's blog and said it contained posts that had titles and no body. This they said indicated he was mentally unstable. I’m posting this from my iPhone with a sprained wrist. So there, say what you will.

MEMOIR

 This blog is of course a work in progress. Just know I increased the font size in order to make the copy more readable.

When I consider what to do with what is left of my life, the next and most logical conclusion is to write and publish my memoirs. I have to figure out how to divide my time between this blog and writing drafts for the memoirs.

The way I see it, I can use this blog as a precursor to the book.

In a recent post on Facebook, I lamented the absurd censoring of myself and CARDBOARD BRAINS out of Liz Worth’s book TREAT ME LIKE DIRT. In response to the post I received support from various Facebook friends, many of them entertainment professionals like published  author Peter Vronsky. They admonished me to write my memoirs in a tell all fashion.

Which I have been working on for a couple of years, initially with Scott Edward Patterson of UNCOMMON FRANK in Melbourne, Australia.

Today I have begun my writing as soon as I awake as I and Julia Cameron and so many others swear by. I find later on I feel to burned out and lackadaisical to start writing on my little iPad.

The question is autobiography or memoirs. As usual I chose a mixture of column A and column B. An ensemble of memoirs covering my wild ride on earth for 67 years. Probably seventy years I'll be by the time the book is written and published and promoted.

Considering a book is about 100,000 words, I will have to write about 1000 words a day for a 100 days.That’s doable, but I have to get out of sloth mode and put some discipline and purpose in my life. Again, it’s doable I have done it before and I’ll  do it again.

I need an editor and what I have always needed is a lawyer. But money is currently tight. However I believe where there is a will there is a way.

I usually list myself as Actor, Writer, Composer. Now I simply list myself as “Artist”.

I am an actor of course having been on since a child. Some who know me would say since birth. Which sort of fits that with acting and writing and the arts your born with it. You either have IT or you don’t. Stephen King says this concerning  writing.

My first acting gig was when I was in Grade 2 or 3 when I appeared on Razzle Dazzle with Howie the Turtle and Alan Hamel. I think that was the CBC ( Canadian Broadcasting Corporation). Then it was an endless succession of plays, radio and film. I became a member of ACTRA under the professional reputation clause in 1986. I could have joined earlier.

And of course as a singer-songwriter musician composer producer starting in 1976-1977 when I formed CARDBOARD BRAINS. 

TIBOR TAKACS produced th Black and the White Cardboard Brains EPs but I produced my solo venture THE LIFE OF ERMIE SCUB (with help from Stanley A. Viezner who was invaluable especially in th peer-production of THE LIFE OF ERMIE SCUB.

For years TIBOR TAKACS admonished me to write. I once told me while I was staying with him in Los Angeles: “Of all the people I know who write, the one person that should doesn’t, and that’s you.”

In 1975 and 1976 I co-wrote two plays with Rich Allen on entitled “Stranger Gets Closer” and the other entitled “Stranger Gets Closer”. I wrote dialogue for TIBOR TAKACS and STEPHEN ZOLLER’s play “Metal Messiah” and subsequently for TIBOR TAKACS first feature film METAL MESSIAH.

I was Vice President of International X-ray Company from 1969 to 2002 which involved a share of writing, copywriting and legal work and that sort. But in 1984 I started two corporations with my mother and became President of Micro-manipulation Research Inc. And a USA corporation Youngstown-Universal, Inc. 1984to 1989. Also John Paul Young Productions Inc.

With Micro-manipulation Research Inc. I wrote extensive direct marketing pieces every month and had them mailed them to literally every known chiropractor and chiropractic student in the world. Each and every month. I was marketing and administering a technique my father developed entitled MICRO-MANIPULATION. I was published in TODAY’s CHIROPRACTIC on three occasion's, a series of articles entitled MICRO-MANIPULATION by John Paul Young. But the articles were so well done (if I may boast) that I received myriad letters from chiropractors all over the world. They were addressed “DR.” John Paul Young. The articles were technical in nature and they just assumed I was a doctor. I thought that was pretty good. From 1984 to 1989 I was a direct marketing king.

More on all this later, I am simply trying to establish my background with the title “WRITER”.

My academic history is fragmented, but after graduating from high school from the Toronto High Park area HUMBERSIDE COLLEGIATE INSTITUTE (where amongst other things I was President of the Student Council) then I enrolled at RYERSON POLYTECHNICAL UNIVERSITY briefly then on to the University of Toronto where I took Psychology, then later To The University of Western Ontario where I took English Literature, Cinema Studies and Theology.  I have a lot more education then that but its feeling a little tedious. My point was establish my background as a writer (artist).

What will my memoirs entail? Well one learned person who I gave an overview of my would be memoirs, and this was twenty years ago said my memoirs would be Mickey Spillane meets Carl Gustav Jung. I think nicely put. In the meantime, until publication this blog will serve as a prime indicator of the contents. 

And so it goes.

A POSTER COLLAGE OF MOVIES I HAVE BEEN IN and CV

 Kind of a blause title of a blog post but what the heck. Somewhere in the annals of this blog is a half assed Curriculum Vitae. It lists recordings but not movies I have been in, not to mention the myriad other wild and wacky things I have done.

For the inquiring mind, IMDB.com doesn’t list all the movies I have done only the major ones and the ones I am credited. As a Voice Artist I don’t traditionally get credited because the studio doesn’t want the viewer to know it’s not the real actors voice they’re listening to. As in the case of Johnny Mnemonic (1996).

So here are some movies I have been in according to IMDB.com (If you look me up on IMDB there are two John Paul Young’s listed. I believe I am the John Paul Young (1) Metal Messiah (1978) not the Scottish Australian John Paul Young (2) Strictly Ballroom whatever year that was.

Metal Messiah (1978) (shot in 1976)

Killer Rats

Gambling Gods and LSD

The Top of His Head

The Gate

Gate II: Trespassers

Johnny Mnemonic (1996)

Sabotage

Sanctuary

Redline

984:Prisoner of the Future

Shock Rock/Meat the Cleaver

Cinophrenic

Walk Through

The Sheepeaters

American Knights

Earth Final Conflict

The Last Pogo

I, Madman

Others aren’t listed and/or too many to recall.

My Hunter Biden Impression and Today’s Blog Post…

 

@5:30 in the morning there’s no time to get a slick self-portrait together.

Spent the morning so far annoying people I know by inundating them with screen shots of things I find interesting or amusing.Going to post this on Facebook also in at shameless act of self-promotion.

I’ve had Facebook since I believe 2009. Reflections of my life: I can remember what I was doing by certain mnemonic guideposts. For instance 2009 is the year Michael Jackson died. I was living in London, Ontario. It was summertime and I was shuffling around the streets of downtown London and I looked at a newspaper box and the cover of the paper showed simply a single still glove.

It always hits me when certain notable figures die. I still can’t believe the death of Prince…especially by way of fentanyl. I was led to believe he was clean as a whistle.

Two things I can’t deal with in 2023 are death and love. I mean I certainly do deal with them, I had to by default, but in my own way i have acquired and that is to remain absolutely stoic. A woman I’ve known for several years sat me down and said: “ I’m going to tell you something and you don’t have to say anything. I love you.” 

And so I said nothing. Later heard she was somehow hurt and offended. I was glad to be off the hook and say nothing. Stoic. I’ve become stoic. 

Ten years ago in 2013 after just migrating here to Halifax I was diagnosed with prostrate cancer. I had surgery, and while after the surgery they stapled me up. While lying in bed one night healing, I sneezed so hard all the staples ripped out of my side. The pain was transcendant but I could do nothing. But I needed help…something had to be done. So I stumbled downstairs to the concierge downstairs where I live. I looked at the staff and they looked at me as it to say: “Yes?”

I simply lifted up my sweater to show the hideous wound gaping blood where the staples once were. So then it was off to the hospital. As I lie on the bed the resident knew the pain I was in. Years ago I would have quasi-malingered for some sweet pain killer but this night i did not care. As I lay there bathed in blood the doctor observed and said one thing:”STOIC.”

I guess this death and love theme is sort of depressing but I don’t intend it to be.  Generally speaking I’m pretty happy.

2009. I had a small apartment in downtown London.I don’t remember much but smoking a lot. Someone gave me an old and decrepit IBM 386 that I stacked on a milk crate. That is when I opened my first Facebook account during the summer that Michael Jackson died.

(Ill post this to blogger and to facebook and come back to pen more, embellish and edit)

And So It Goes…

 And so it goes.

I continue to post using my hunt-and-peck typing on my 10.5 inch 7th generation iPad. I’m now using iOS17 and it “doesn’t support accessories”, that being my Apple Magic Keyboard for the iPad. The only difference that I can see is in that semi-nauseating auto-correct that gave me so many bizarre typos.

To write is human to edit divine: so said Stephen King in “Stephen King On Writing”.And so I must edit and embellish the last 38 blog posts I have presented.

I’m going to try writing first thing in the morning as Julia Cameron in “The Artists Way”, which I’ve never read but should. Ernest Hemingway also wrote first thing in the morning.

There are many books I need to read including Liz Worth’s book on the Toronto punk scene “Treat Me Like Dirt” even though I and whatever Cardboard Brains has apparently bleached out of the book.

Worlds Within A Dream

 

Here’s a demo that appears on the compilation CD of 1998.

John Paul Young and Cardboard Brains Live at the Edge 1981

 

Behold the limited edition (500 copies) of the 1981 Cardboard Brains and myself are at Gary Topp and Bary Cormier club Egertons (The Edge).

CANADA DAY

 

CANADA DAY

All the Sad Goodbyes

 

I omitted this track from the 1998 compilation CD because I personally thought it was weak. But I read someone’s blog or critique of the CD complaining that “All the Sad Goodbyes” was omitted from the Ermie Scub excerpts on the CD.

So here it is. The middle instrumentation is a backwards grand piano, and I like the sequence extro.

I must blog and vlog more. Thanks to however posted my links to Facebook etcetera.

I’ll be turning sixty seven this July 16th. That’s pretty old. But what to do? I still want to record and perform. I fancy doing a Leonard Cohen reinvention at my age. 

For some reason I’m getting a lot of Android views from Singapore. Hello Singapore!

The Girl Spells Grief

 

Wednesday June 14, 2023 @7:15AM Atlantic time, Halifax, Nova Scotia. I have the blahs today. A second Vyvanse was in order. There’s a course in cybersecurity coming up that the government of Canada will pay for, and I applied for it. But to be quite honest I don’t know if I have the chops.

Ermie has Feelers

 

KIDNAPPED!

KIDNAPPED!               

After the death of my mother I was yoked with the 24/7 task of taking care of my crazed 81 year old father who at the time was still a practising chiropractor in Etobicoke, Ontario, a part of Toronto.

On July 2, 2002 I couldn't take nit anymore and in act of desperation loaded up my diesel VW Jetta and made the move of taking off cross country to Vancouver, British Columbia.

I had in my possession a cheque for over a thousand dollars and my first move was to drive to a MONEY MART to cash it. And I cashed it and phoned my confidante and friend John Gundy (Executive Producer of the White and Black EPs) and told him of my planned exodus. I also told friend and fellow actor  Jason Barbeck and Christine Wrigglesworth former personal assistant to Adrienne Clarkson at the CBC.

I drove from whatever MONEY MART I went to and drove to John Gundys house on Summer-hill in downtown Toronto. John livers in Bob Ezrins old house and has the garnd piano from THE WALL in his living room. 

John Gundy was having some kind of dinner party and I didn't stay I got in my car and continued on my journey.. I drove down Yonge Street which Summerhill runs into. My plan was to have a beer and a salad at a place called HEMINGWAY'S. It was a beautiful about to be evening and sitting on the outside would be a pleasure.

Parking downtown was usually a nightmare but I noticed a parking lot just off Yorkville Avenue and landed my Jetta immediately by Yorkville.

And like to point out to my international readers that Yorkville is a trendy, affluent part of downtown Toronto. My friend director Tibor Takacs and I once saw ELTON JOHN strolling down Yorkville attired in a coat of all ermine.

At EXACTLY 6:55 PM (I have photographic memory and I will never forget the parking stub I placed on my dashboard that evening) I parked my care and walked no more then twenty steps to the  Yorkville Avenue sidewalk. I wore a black leather suit jacket and black pants.

In a nano second upon hitting the street I  heard someone shout at me. I turned to notice a van with two smiling gentlemen in it, smiling and beckoning for me to come to them.

As I got to the van the continued to smile  and encouraged me to have a seat in the back. The door being opened, foolishly, I did. I mean, my mother just died and my father turned into a Satanic Ritual Abuser. My actions and judgement were seriously askew.

When I got in the van and sat down, They slammed the door shut and were no longer smiling. Instead They punched me in the head several times, pushed a sharpened screwdriver into my neck and had me empty my pockets with all my money, keys my ACTRA card and my passport.

They proceeded to drive down Yorkville with me in the back as their captive. I tried to escape at the base of Yorkville Avenue around where Hemingway's was situated, but they caught my move for the lock on the van door and thwarted my escape. The passenger said he had a gun. They kept shouting at me as to my address and who was at home. not contented with my over one thousand in cash and potentially my care, they wanted to do a home invasion.

They drove across Avenue Road to a secluded area off Walmer Road. Avenue? No time to fact check. 

With no one around on Walmer Road they stopped and parked the van. They told me:

"GET IN THE BACK AND LIE FACE DOWN!"

I didnt like that idea if you get the picture. They had my money my keys my ID and the van was stolen. They wanted me to get me to lie face down so they could stab me in the back and leave me in the abandoned van for dead.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

BABIES RUN MY WORLD (Live at the Horseshoe Tavern) Cardboard Brains

 Those were the days my friend.

POSITIVITY BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

 

The Positivity Pole where I contemplate each morning.

Apocalypse Today Part One.

 

Not much to say about this. I’m trying to ignite some kind of creative spark, and as yet it eludes me. But be patient dear readers/viewers. Hope springs eternal. I’m experimenting. I will evolve.

Cardboard Brains 1977. They were the best of times…

 

Paul O’Connell, Rich Miller, Vince Carlucci and John Paul Young in our summer of 1977 practice sessions. Together we made the iconic “White EP” (BRAINCO WORLDWIDE). Fun times of our youth.

CONSPIRACY 465 (1)(b)

 CONSPIRACY 465 (1) (b)

Everyone who conspires with anyone to prosecute a person for an alleged offence knowing they did not commit that offence is guilty of

i) an indictable offence…

 

The Sun Still Shines

 

The Boulevards of Hope.

You know, Dear Friends, what I really would like to do is release new music. But financing a project is the problem. If I were to use Ermie Scub as a guideline, it would cost about $CDN50,000.00 to release a comparable LP. Plus promotion and distribution. And I need things such as a practice space and gear. Maybe I will win the lottery or get a Canada Council for the Arts grant.

Many sources including the CBC and Nardwaur and Canadian Composer (which was in the days of CAPAC) have commented on how depressing and down it is. But I submit that the above track is optimistic. And it’s one of my fave tracks on The Life of Ermie Scub.

423 (1) INTIMIDATION

 

Je suis malade. Thinking about legal issues and the pursuit of justice makes me literally sick. I have a psycho-physiological reaction that incapacitates me.

More to follow shortly dear friends.

ONE WAY TICKET TO THE RESURRECTION.

 

“Sure Mel. Maybe you can handle yourself one of them first class tickets to the resurrection.” Scarface (1983) brilliantly penned by Oliver Stone. I haven’t yet addressed the comments in this blog, put please keep them up, they’re great. It’s great to interact with others after so many years off the grid.

Past couple of weeks I have been down to one 70 mg. hit of Vyvanse per diem but I could use additional to be on the ball. But the healthcare system in Nova Scotia is pretty bad and the possibility of me finding a physician that’s a wizard in the field of psychotropic medication is next to impossible.

If only I had been diagnosed and treated for ADD/ADHD years ago, things would be much different.And in case it doesn’t show or hold itself self-evident, I have a bad case of complex PTSD which exacerbates the ADD/ADHD. As it is, I dropped out of high school and three universities and didn’t graduate.

( Humberside Collegiate Institute, where I was student council president. Ryerson Polytechnic University, University of Toronto and the University of Western Ontario.)

However I did complete my training in systems analysis at Honeywell in 1981-1982. That was an experimental military immersion program, a prototype for a future project in which I was essentially brainwashed into thinking all things computer science. One of the things that made it possible to learn so much so fast was to work on sleep deprivation. I actually graduated, but around the same time I was nominated for a UKNOW/CASBY award and won (to my surprise). So instead of making big money in the about to boom field of computer science, I detoured that career to concentrate on my musical career.

ALLMUSIC Review of The Life of Ermie Scub by Laurie Mercer

I thought I would transcribe onto this blog a not bad review of The Life of Ermie Scub by Laurie Mercer of ALLMUSIC. 

ALLMUSIC REVIEW BY LAURIE MERCER

“Canadian John Paul Young (not to be confused with the Brit-pop star of the same era) released The Life of Ermie Scub after leaving his band the Cardboard Brains, a popular Toronto art-punk club band who put out a few records and toured with such bands as Bauhaus and The Stranglers.

A concept solo album (truly solo, Young wrote, co-produced, and played most of the instruments), ERMIE SCUB is a rather bleak tale of an introverted child struggling with confusion and loneliness, trying to figure out his place in a hostile world: “Have You Seen the Boy In the Gutter With the Broken Mind?”.

Musically its a minor synth-pop gem. A postcard from a time when synthesisers offered unlimited possibilities and an electronic rhythm section eliminated the need for drummers and bass players And layered composition was all the rage.

Like much music of this time, Ermie Scub can seem overbearing and pretentious at times, yet riveting and creative at others. fans may hear echoes of Depeche Mode or the British New Romantic groups but when Ermie Scub was released these bands were inn the future. Young’s work here is cutting edge upon its release: innovative and current synth-pop. The club hit “Our Time Escapes” survives well and sounds like a minor Wall of Voodoo hit. Other songs didn’t survive as well, but that doesn’t distract from the overall warped and upbeat pleasure of the album It was a local success for Young, winning a CASBY “people’s choice award for Most Promising artist in 1982.

John young went on to become a successful television actor and re-united the Cardboard Brains on several occasions. A “best of “ compilation which included several solo compositions went quickly in and out of print. So for fans of minimal synth-pop or the Toronto Art-Punk scenes, the only way to hear THE LIFE OF ERMIE SCUB is on the original vinyl. Good luck finding it. “

GET UP STAND UP STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS!

 I penned the last blog early in the morning, sick as a dog. Hence all the typos etcetera. 

But one day I will edit all this stuff. But at least I got some material out. Material that I find difficult to discuss but I ruminate about constantly.aHowever I believe it to be cathartic to publish it in a public forum online.

I discussed the death of my brother in some detail, but not in total detail. Truthfully I would rather not breach the subject but I deem it necessary. I believe I had to mention finding my brothers body to provide context to my nuclear family, the subsequent death of my mother, my kidnapping and my seven bullshit arrests and four wrongful imprisonments. Oh and let’s not forget being forced to survive on the mean streets of Toronto for ten years. And all the while I was being defrauded of approximately fifteen million dollars in cash and assets.

The aforementioned me being “sick as a dog” started with a tickle in my throat and then sort of a cold. I was at “Erica’s” aka The Veltmeyer Estate. And four or three days I lay in bed feeling like my skin was crawling. It’s a miracle of sorts that I actually blogged. I think the lack of formatting and detail can be forgiven. I will “fix it in the mix” so to speak, to use a recording cliche.

After the third or fourth day in conversation with Erica we discussed my “goose pimple bone” (John Lennon: COLD TURKEY”.)

I realised I was going through withdrawal. So I immediately packed my bag, hailed a cab and speeded home. I hurried downstairs to THE BUBBLE where my medication was kept, shaking and trembling as  the blister pack was handed to me and I sped upstairs to my humble abode and swallowed the wack of pills I hadn’t taken in days.

Funny. In two hours I was right as rain. I no longer had COVID or any other dreadful illness. I was cured, praise Jah, I was healed and I’ve been high on life ever since. Remind me to always stay properly medicated. To me it makes me happy to be alive.

I still haven’t detailed the KIDNAPPING ON YORKVILLE but I will detail it exactly as it happened and exactly how I detailed it to 52 DIVISION MAJOR CRIME UNIT, TORONTO POLICE SERVICES.

This is not what this post is primarily about, I just wanted to foreshadow things and get a few issues off my chest.

When the police charge you, they lay on the charges thick and see which ones stick. So I believe the potential charges involved with the two thugs who pulled me into a stolen green Plymouth’s panel van on Yorkville Avenue, as posh and affluent as it is and is supposed to be… at 6:55PM July 2, 2002… the charges involved (and that occurred) were kidnapping , Armed Robbery, Assault, Forcible Confinement, whatever the Canadian term for Grand Theft Auto and attempted murder.

Police could no doubt figure out more and scarier sounding charges.

Oh and the victim was me, John Paul Young, DOB July 16, 1956.

But I didn’t want to get into that. I wanted to write while I feel good.

This part is written a couple of days later:

After reading the copy I had written above for a change, there is a few points I’d like to make in addition.

About discovering my brothers body: After she jerked my head to see my brother’s corpse And I confirmed it was my brother, she jerked my head away from seeing what was him and HUGGED me. That was so thoughtful and professional and important I will always remember.

My malaise was only partially withdrawal. I also had a really bad cold. Have I should say.

I feel my blog and my YouTube vlog which eventually I will run in sync are going well. They’re really rough at the moment but better I motivate in baby steps rather than laying in bed curled up in a ball. Readership and view results are increasing all the time and I really appreciate the comments.

Sorry for the quality of the screenshot of the Yorkville area where the kidnapping occurred.

(Right on Yorkville Avenue off Yonge Street Toronto). I try to supply context for viewers from other countries unfamiliar with what “Yorkville “ in context to the significance of a kidnapping.

Oh here’s another potential charge “assault with a weapon”.

I need a 27 inch iMac. Vayo Con Dios. JPY.

KIDNAPPED! (Continued)…Yorkville, Toronto

 I come from a family of four. My mother Margaret Isabel Young (nee Peace), my father Dr. Robert Goddard Young, my brother, six years my junior, William Robert Stuart Young nd myself, John Paul Young.

My brother died tragically in July 1996 shortly before my fortieth birthday. For the next six years I was the principal caregiver of my two parents.

I was the one who discovered the body of my “baby” brother in his apartment. I was in shock. The attending police officer “Bart”, said to me at the scene “If you ID your brothers body for the Coroner, you’ll spare your elderly parents from seeing their son on the slab.”

So still in clinical shock, the Coroner, a woman, a very nice woman arrived amongst all the others, arrived. She understood what I didn’t: the psychological impact of identifying a loved ones body, dead town days, bloated, cyanotic and with rigour mortis. A ghoulish vestige of his former self.

So I wasn’t allowed to look at my brothers body until the Coroner chose the appointed time.

when that time came, She held my head with both hands and for a moment, which felt like a nano-second jerked my head towards where my brother lay so that I had no choice but to see his mortal coil. She said: “ Is this your brother?” To which I blurted: “Yes.”.

That’s something I will live with the rest of my life.

So for the next six years, as determined by our former family doctor, JERRY ZADYKO, MD I was the principal caregiver of my elderly parents.

I took me five years to function normally, that is normal for myself. By 2001 things were going great, great as they could be living with the memory of my late brother.

I had reunited CARDBOARD BRAINS into a super group, I did KILLER RATS in Bulgaria with Ron Perlman and it all ended with the premiere of GODS, GAMBLING and LSD in September 2002 at The Isabel Bader Theatre (which one a Genie for best documentary) in Yorkville as part of TIFF. The Toronto international Festival of Festivals. That was the end of that portion of my life and career.

My mother died unexpectedly and preventably, I suppose if I were truthful i could say tragically, the day before her birthday in November 2001. My father had turned into Satan incarnate, obsessed with seizing my mothers estate and all assets, even those which were not legally his.

His sadistic narcissistic abuse knew no bounds. (This post is the absolute short Form, to say the least). By the summer of 2002 just months after my mothers death I couldn’t be in contact with my father. Not for his safety but for my own safety. I had numerous professionals implore me to leave.

So on July 2, 2002 I loaded up my diesel VW Jetta and proceeded to leave for Vancouver.

I told only three people I was leaving. Actor Jason Barbek, writer Christine Wrigglesworth and CARDBOARD BRAINS Executive Producer John Gundy.

(I have to continue this in another post this is too hard on me. And forgive me but at this moment in time I can’t be bothered editing.)

And my thanks to whoever quoted T.S. Eliot in the comments section. Eliot is one of my favourites. Now that I am Sixty six years of age I keep thinking to myself: “I grow old I grow old, shall I wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled? Do I dare eat a peach?” 

Additionally, in the comment section about cut and paste etc. Unfortunately I am still confined to my IPad.

COMPILATION BOOTLEG CONTINUED!

I discovered amongst a mountain of paper the container the replicated CD came in, and it is from DODAX AG, OBERNEUHOFSTRASS 10a 6340 BAAR SWITZERLAND.

Here are the two side by side for comparison:

Notice the difference in the spines. One BLACK and the counterfeit one OPAQUE.

Well I think that is interesting. I really more INTERESTING would happen.

I used to have pints in the evening twenty years ago, just before all hell broke out in my life at a pub in Etobicoke near where I lived at Islington and Bloor Street West. Called The Squire and Firkin.

There were a variety of interesting dudes that I hung out with, one being Curtis Smith, a drummer who toured across Canada with Janis Joplin. He was only 17 at the time and couldn’t understand why this good looking guy followed her around everywhere. That good looking guy was Kris Kristofferson.

Another notable figure was a very smart fellow who I will dub IBM ROB.

    

JOHN PAUL YOUNG and CARDBOARD BRAINS COMPILATION BOOTLEG!

Amongst the unfortunately limited discography of myself  and CARDBOARD BRAINS is 1998 digital compilation of all the vinyl releases. Above you can   see the original, which has a BLACK spine.

I found on AMAZON when I was scouring the internet, which I am prone to do, a copy of the compilation CD. Having lost all my possessions including all of the mint rare vintage vinyl that I had archived diligently, I am forced to buy up copies of my own records and CDs from collectors.

I purchased the compilation CD, and when it arrived from Switzerland I could tell it was a reissue because  it was an exact duplicate except for the fact that it has an OPAQUE spine. To tell you the truth it remains unopened in shrink wrap, but yes it is an exact reproduction.

This morning I cannot locate the package it was shipped in to publish the company and address. It is here somewhere amidst the chaos on my desk, a product of my ADHD mind.

Sometime later when again scoring the internet, I discovered a listing for the unauthorised release (they were out of stock) on a UK website. And the website cited the label as EMI.

I’m not pissed at the rip off, I wish EMI would release the compilation.

In my opinion the compilation is pretty good and fans are pleased with it.

I crammed as much music is I technically could. 79 minutes is the most information you can get on a CD and that’s what you get.

About the only criticism I received was a fan from NOW magazine in Toronto, who complained there were no liner notes. If I ever get enough capital or someone becomes a patron I will re-release it with comprehensive liner notes. Or maybe EMI will.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A FOOL

 

Before they were called The CASBY Awards they were dubbed the U-Know Awards as a populist alternative to The JUNO Awards. I had the great honour of winning a U-Know/CASBY Award for Most Promising Male Recording Artist. I believe it was simulcast on the CBC. Carol Pope and Kevin Staples of Rough Trade presented me with the award. My thanks once again to David Marsden and everyone at CFNY-FM.

KIDNAPPED!

 

I’m just saying 

 

The initial purpose of this post was to discuss my kidnapping, robbery and attempted murder on Yorkville Avenue in Toronto on July 2, 2002 in broad daylight at 6:55 PM.

I will explore this occurrence in vivid detail as soon as I can. And on the subject of my book, whether it be memoirs or autobiography, there is much ground to cover as an overview before I get down to it, so to speak.

Previously on Wikipedia on the “CARDBOARD BRAINS” page, it states that “John Paul Young is currently in seclusion. Or when translated: hermitage. It since had been edited out, but was essentially accurate. I was indeed in seclusion from September 2002 on. No one knew where I was or how to contact me and that’s the way I wanted it. That is why Cardboard Brains guitarist had his friend and once Cardboard Brains alumni John “Sandy” Macfadyen fill in for myself as front man-vocalist when the sort of Cardboard Brains played at the Horseshoe Tavern for THE LAST POGO JUMPS AGAIN in 2006.

I was nowhere to be found. Even on message boards and chat groups the rumour was that I was dead.

Sandy Macfadyen as John Paul Young with Cardboard Brains at the Horseshoe Tavern 2006.

I have been reticent to publish my thoughts and experiences for years even on Facebook. However, now I feel I might as well be bold and shout it out loud so to speak, and I have much to say. I have nothing to regret and as for my life experiences: That is my life and I chose to embrace them as part of my being.

It escapes me at the moment, but someone once said we are the people we have met, the places we have been and the books we have read. This is my life and I chose to embrace it, including the tragedies, tribulations and triumphs. So be it.

One of the reasons I was “in seclusion” was because I was arrested. Seven times. And imprisoned. Four times. And without committing a crime.

MURDER MAYHEM AND MADNESS. MY MEMOIRS.

Haven’t posted lately and certainly haven’t posted daily like I said I would in earlier posts.

If any of you are on my Facebook page (which I encourage you to do) I posted what Paul McCartney makes in royalties every single day (something like $USD600.000) and my asking $30 from SOCAN in November. I thought it was amusing.

For the past couple of years I have been working on my memoirs. I was approached to do them by a friend of mine in Melbourne who is a digital marketing specialist. For months I would send him audio files via the net for the proposed project, but then I get interested in other things such as a Canada Council for the Arts grant to write and record new music.

That didn’t work out but I will try again. The fatal flaw in my application was I forced Erica Veltmeyer to write the application. All things considering she made a valiant attempt but it caused her to have a meltdown in the process. Next time that I apply to Canada Council I will write the application myself and have a more focused agenda.

So its back to my memoirs. It being almost Christmas and 2023 is on our doorstep, it’s probably time to get some goals. Consistent daily writing seems to be the best thing. I have the resources, that being time, an iPad with Magic Keyboard (my aged Toshiba laptop isn’t much fun to write on), and a diverse and colourful life of experiential knowledge to draw on.

Also I believe writing the memoirs will be therapeutic.I would like to take an almost scientific approach to probing my own mind and why the way I am. Or  put another way, to find myself.

Also I wish to document myself and my family. Because sadly to say my family and all they represented has been erased. It’s like something that would happen in Stalins Russia.

I now have a variety of posts, and I am thankful for the views I have gotten. But my posts are a mere preamble to the main event of this blog, which is to write the first draft of my memoirs. Or at least that the plan.

Back in 2002 or perhaps 2003 I was in Toronto visiting Catherine Macguire, who sometimes gave me vocal training and I affectionately dubbed Piano Lady. While I was waiting for her to arrive I told her boyfriend about recent aspects of my life, to which he commented: “ Your memoirs would read like Mickey Spillane meets Carl Gustav Jung!”

If I write and publish my memoirs it certainly wont be for the money. And supposedly the average person who publishes a book can expect to sell about 500 copies.

I haven’t really said anything about this title “MURDER MAYHEM MADNESS” but expect me to explore the underlining subject matter in depth.

THE LAST POGO JUMPS AGAIN BABIES RUN MY WORLD NARDWAUR CARDBOARD BRAINS

 

Here I found “Babies Run My World” by Cardboard Brains as discussed in an earlier post. (As I write I’m listening to “A Song for Europe” by Roxy Music off, I believe the Stranded album.)

The last post I entitled “The Life of Ermie Scub (Dogsitting)” because I was indeed dog-sitting at The Veltmeyer Estate for ten days. I live the quiet life now, thankfully free of the drama that permeated my life. Especially the years 2002-2012.

The dog in question Emmy-Lou, a rescue pup from Texas. She gives me solace, something to love and care for in my new found modest peace. Here my friends, is a pic of Emmy Lou:

Just sayin’.

And above a better pic of The Last Pogo (BOMB)(1979).

In September 2002 GODS GAMBLING and LSD premiered at the Isabel Theatre at The Toronto International Festival of Festivals. I appear as myself with the Director, my friend Peter Mettler.

GODS GAMBLING and LSD subsequently won a GENIE award for BEST DOCUMENTARY. It’s won other awards internationally but I haven’t really kept track in all the confusion.

In Director Colin Brunton’s revisitation of the film “The Last Pogo” , “The Last Pogo Jumps Again”, NARDWAUR fills in for me because I was unavailable in the extreme.

The last gig I did with what was called by myself, CARDBOARD BRAINS was in April 2000, and just before the premiere of GODS GAMBLING and LSD I did KILLER RATS in Bulgaria with Ron Perlman. Which was a very cool experience. I play Hans, the Rat Exterminator. Got to hang and party with Ron (Hellboy, Sons of Anarchy, etcetera) Perlman.

Whoever views this blog glance at the post CURRICULUM VITAE that’s on only part of the puzzle. My background far transcends my years as leader,singer songwriter of the “punk “ band Cardboard Brains. 

I haven’t included my filmography, some of which appears on IMDB.com

THE LIFE OF ERMIE SCUB! (Dog sitting)

 

Here we have on YouTube my 1980 LP THE LIFE OF ERMIE SCUB in its entirety. I had intended to post BABIES RUN MY WORLD (1978) released 1979 on BOMB RECORDS: THE LAST POGO (Live at The Horseshoe Tavern, Toronto), but I couldn’t find it on YouTube. It’s somewhere in that cyber abyss of the likes of Harry Styles and Adelle. Or Adel or whatever.

I’ll find the LAST POGO Babies Run My World, or perhaps someone will find it for me, eventually, and I’ll post it. It’s a lo-fi recording but I feel confident in saying its one of the best tracks on this release, at least Paul McGrath of The Toronto GLOBE AND MAIL thought so. To paraphrase Paul McGrath’s article in said newspaper: “CARDBOARD BRAINS should sign for respectable money on prominent dotted lines and stand heads held high in global new wave predominance”.

A bold statement but I’m actually not making it up. The comment was great for our egos but always left me kind of embarrassed and uncomfortable, but all these years I might as well own it. I surmise other bands hated us for this kind of press we got but so is the game.

Which makes me think about Liz Worth and her apparently fine book about the Toronto punk scene “TREAT ME LIKE DIRT”. I haven’t read it yet but someday I surely will. According to Michael Panontin  of Canuckistan Music said something to the effect that myself and CARDBOARD BRAINS were curiously excised from her book, with the minor exception of a mention in a discography.

Another point about The Last Pogo version of “BABIES RUN MY WORLD” is that it was number one on campus radio stations in Canada. Someone from BOMB RECORDS phoned to tell me that.

I entitled this post “The Life of Ermie Scub” because of many of you dear readers know not what an Ermie Scub is. Ermie Scub is simply a name I invented for no particular reason to entitle my solo departure from my Cardboard Brains. As Cardboard Brains guitarmeister Vince Carlucci aptly said in 1980 when I left: “Paul is the only person I know who quit his own band.”

So that is why this domain is https://www.ermiescub.com.

I’m currently dog sitting Emmy-Lou at The Veltmeyer estate until her master Erica returns. Scuba for not posting regularly but self-discipline is a commodity I find hard to muster. Think I’ll buy some new clothes today for a fresh incarnation of JPY. I’ll post again when I return.

Oh and if you listen to The Life of Ermie Scub I strongly suggest good headphones. Someone on the internet insisted : “MUST BE PLAYED LOUD”. And please put in context this was written and recorded in 1980 so aspects are dated. Laurie Mercer of ALLMUSIC did a nice review a while back in which I’ll share.

NARDWAUR THE EVAPORATORS CARDBOARD BRAINS

 

Around the early years of the season of my discontent I noticed a strange phenomena on the internet. Something called a Nardwaur and apparently a band called THE EVAPORATORS had somewhat of a hit song called CARDBOARD BRAINS. By about 2005 I had put the pieces together to learn that NARDWAUR, The Human Serviette, was a MuchMusic VeeJay and legendary interviewer had a band called The Evaporators and a song entitled CARDBOARD BRAINS a homage of sorts to my band.

In 2005 ( I’m Guessing the year, it was a blur) I was living on top of The Rex Hotel at Queen Street West across from the practice space we shared with John McLeod (Johnny and the G-Rays), down the street from The Horseshoe. It just so happened that I read in NOW magazine that the Evaporators were playing The Horseshoe that night, so I swallowed my beer and headed down to introduce myself to NARDWAUR.

He said in a gentlemanly fashion: “ It’s an honour!”  Took a publicity photo with himself, yours truly and the bass player from THE EVAPORATORS. He gave me a copy of RIPPLE ROCK, The Evaporaors CD at the time. When I got home and opened it, I found it had loads of great liner notes on myself and CARDBOARD BRAINS. Which I would like to share WITH YOU NOW:

“ I would love to see Cardboard Brains play live. If I may turn the reins at this point to my friend Marc Coulavin who will now subject you to a short history of the real Cardboard Brains (not The Evaporators song!):

“ Deadly Alien Foam. That’s what you could be reading about here. It was one of the names the band considered before settling on “CARDBOARD BRAINS”. An interesting and humorously self-deprecatory name, compared to the more obnoxiously provocative ones chosen by their fellow musicians on the Toronto punk rock scene. Things like Arson, The Battered Wives, the Cads, the Curse, The Fits, the Forgotten rebels, The Poles, The Rage, Rex Chainbelt (after a cement mixer part!) The Sharks, Slander, Swindled, Teenage Head, Tyranna, The Ugly, The Viletones and ZRO4.

It’s also a clue they were slightly different from the rest. Although their first  EP, a 7” bearing the legend “Cardboard Brains 1977” contains four blasts of primitive and raw punk rock, there are definitely shades of quirkiness. Both in the lyrics as on the presumably sarcastic “I Want to Be A Yank”, and the music. Certainly in the vocals. 

“Their on-stage presentation was also out of the ordinary. Eschewing the ripped jeans and T-shirts aesthetic of his contemporaries, singer John Paul young favoured dressing up in costumes. On at least one occasion, he removed his clothes to reveal a Riddler-like turquoise body suit covered in question marks. Young also integrated his training as a thespian into their shows, displaying behaviour qualified as “pretty bizarre” by a third year performance studies student (who should know!), at Ther 1982 Sheridan College gig. A first year business student called them “danceable but weird.” Not unlike The Evaporators in some ways!

In December 1978, Cardboard Brains appeared at The Last Pogo, a two day event at the Horseshoe tavern marking the end of that establishments “New Wave” booking policy. Parts of these shows, including numbers by Cardboard Brains, were committed to celluloid and vinyl. the more adventurous bent of the group reveals itself further on these contributions, as well as their second outing, a four song 12” EP released in 1979. this is perhaps due to the departure of original bassist Paul Oconnel and drummer Richard Miller, who were replaced by John Thomas and Dave Richardson on The Last Pogo recordings, and by Patrick Gregory and Mickel Keena on the EP.

In 1980, Mr. Young went solo and produced a rather depressing concept LP entitled The Life Of Ermie Scub, The group reunited in 1981, with Young and guitarist Vincent Carlucci as the only original remaining members. This resulted in a live album recorded at new wave club The Edgar, issued the following year in a very limited edition of 441 numbered and autographed copies, by then their music had evolved into fully-fledged prog punk, years before anyone came up with a name for it…but that was also the bands swan song. Since then they have reunited for a few club dates, one of these being a retrospective  compilation CD.

Young went into acting and composing for the movies. Carlucci formed Station Twang with Carl Tafel (a later Cardboard Brains alumnus, whose previous vehicle had been Terraced Garden). Patrick Gregory  became a member of The Woods are Full of Cuckoos and the Lawn.

The Cardboard Brains version of The Monkees’ “Stepping Stone” off their first EP, appeared on the all-Canadian Killed By Death Vol. 26 in the mid-nineties, raising their profile accordingly. Someone anonymously issued a facsimile of that EP in the last year or so. Now you can look forward to the pleasure of a song called “Deadly Alien Foam” on your next Evaporators platter! Cheers!and now back to your host Nardwaur…Thanks Nardmeister!”

So those are the liner notes from Ripple Rock by The Evaporators featuring Nardwaur The Human Serviette.

SLOTH

 

Sloth.There is much  for me to tell but  most of  the time  I don’t feel like doing anything. I would like to post daily because the search engines like to sniff the keywords. This Apple Magic Keyboard is pretty neat  but the space bar the is malfunctioning in that I must hit the shift key in between words.

Which is much more than you need to know. Previous posts have been brief and vague because I am just getting used to blogging and the limitations of my technology. Topics such as Curriculum Vitae have been pretty vacant, I haven’t even included my filmography. Days go by. Canada Day July 1,2022 went by and I wanted to post. My birthday July 16, 2022 (66). Eventually I posted something but not much.

Eventually I want to explore the Cardboard Brains history with an analysis of the various releases, including my solo LP “The Life of Ermie Scub “. I want to address my filmography including Metal Messiah (1978), The Gate (1986), Johnny Mnemonic (1996), Killer Rats (2001) and Gods, Gambling and LSD (2003).

It’s painful but I will detail how and why I effectively disappeared for twenty years and why Nardwaur appears in The Last Pogo Jumps Again (2006).

THE ELECTRO BEAT CARDBOARD BRAINS

 

Pauline Groen, John Paul Young and Vincent Carlucci the incarnation of Cardboard Brains that opened for The Stranglers. No drummer just one of the first LinnDrums.

LIVING INSIDE MY HEAD

 And here is the song off the ever popular Cardboard Brains White EP (1977).

A NEW ANALYSIS Of A CURRENT CRISIS

 

Cardboard Brains poster from 1978.

WELCOME TO THE MINISTRY OF PROPAGANDA

Propaganda is typically misleading or biased in nature. However in this blog I will relate the world in my eyes, and I will post only what I know or hold to be true. As Tony Montana wisely stated in Scarface (1983), “I always tell the truth, even when I lie.”.

So far this blog has been experimental. I am becoming accustomed to the nuances of Blogger, and the bots and crawlers that sniff keywords have discovered it. It’s now recognisable to Google, Bing, Duck Duck Go search engines as ermiescub.com and I am glad. I still have some way to go.

I will try to post everyday in the future. I must overcome the lethargy  and inertia that has enveloped me for years and exact some discipline on my mind and body.

Further expect this blog to become more structured. I will write less with an attitude of just blurting out anything and I will write more with a view to actually making some kind of point.

Maybe this blog will be my ticket to ride and save me from the powerful discontent I feel from essentially doing nothing. They say there’s things happening here in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada but the Canadian JPY has yet to burrow into some kind of scene. Yes there’s films that happen in Halifax but I have yet to go through the drill of compiling a new résumé, getting a headshots, and getting a new agent. The idea of putting together a voice reel seems overwhelming although I should have one, should have all of these things. It’s not like I’m new at the game.

And I’m embarrassed of the fact that I am not really a member of ACTRA (Alliance of Canadian Cinema, Television and Radio Artists) currently. I went off the grid between and went into seclusion after the release of Peter Mettler’s Gods, Gambling and LSD (2002). For some reason I was foolish  enough to stop paying my dues and I became under suspension. I have years of residual cheques coming to me. It’s still not an overwhelming amount of cash money to speak of but still its reflective how I was so in seclusion I didn’t even collect my cheques. Still haven’t. That and an agent are on my never get around to it TO DO list. I think I ceased being a card carrying member of ACTRA sometime after 2005. Things between 2002 and 2012 (my tribulation period)are a blur. I don’t relish of telling agents I was, and am not, but will be a member of ACTRA. But eventually I will bite the bullet. Perhaps they could simply follow the blog and I wont wind up explaining the almost unexplainable, not to mention unbelievable story of how and why I essentially disappeared from traditional view.

And I’m not doing music. At days away from 66 I’m on a meagrely  pension and I live a modest existence.

From 2018 to 2020 I had the position of School Crossing Guard, on the payroll of the Halifax Regional Police and working for the Halifax Regional Municipality (HRM). I liked it actually. Not the attention and accolades I was used to but I was protecting children (and adults), people relied on me and received some extra cash. It gave me a routine and that something I never had. At one point. during those two years I actually felt happy normal and content. Sort of a rush all things considered.

But now my body feels so wracked and ruined I feel I can’t even do that. Neither do I want to. I burned out on that methinks.

No haven’t been doing much and I am desperately seeking answers and solutions.

And so I blog.

SCREAMERS and CARDBOARD BRAINS at The Horseshoe Tavern, October 31, 1978

 I remember being on the set of CINOFRENIC and having to go to open for The Screamers later that night. Cathryn Gilday of the Toronto Globe and Mail gave us a very nice review entitled “Cardboard Brains Just Fine”.