A NEW ANALYSIS Of A CURRENT CRISIS

 

Cardboard Brains poster from 1978.

WELCOME TO THE MINISTRY OF PROPAGANDA

Propaganda is typically misleading or biased in nature. However in this blog I will relate the world in my eyes, and I will post only what I know or hold to be true. As Tony Montana wisely stated in Scarface (1983), “I always tell the truth, even when I lie.”.

So far this blog has been experimental. I am becoming accustomed to the nuances of Blogger, and the bots and crawlers that sniff keywords have discovered it. It’s now recognisable to Google, Bing, Duck Duck Go search engines as ermiescub.com and I am glad. I still have some way to go.

I will try to post everyday in the future. I must overcome the lethargy  and inertia that has enveloped me for years and exact some discipline on my mind and body.

Further expect this blog to become more structured. I will write less with an attitude of just blurting out anything and I will write more with a view to actually making some kind of point.

Maybe this blog will be my ticket to ride and save me from the powerful discontent I feel from essentially doing nothing. They say there’s things happening here in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada but the Canadian JPY has yet to burrow into some kind of scene. Yes there’s films that happen in Halifax but I have yet to go through the drill of compiling a new résumé, getting a headshots, and getting a new agent. The idea of putting together a voice reel seems overwhelming although I should have one, should have all of these things. It’s not like I’m new at the game.

And I’m embarrassed of the fact that I am not really a member of ACTRA (Alliance of Canadian Cinema, Television and Radio Artists) currently. I went off the grid between and went into seclusion after the release of Peter Mettler’s Gods, Gambling and LSD (2002). For some reason I was foolish  enough to stop paying my dues and I became under suspension. I have years of residual cheques coming to me. It’s still not an overwhelming amount of cash money to speak of but still its reflective how I was so in seclusion I didn’t even collect my cheques. Still haven’t. That and an agent are on my never get around to it TO DO list. I think I ceased being a card carrying member of ACTRA sometime after 2005. Things between 2002 and 2012 (my tribulation period)are a blur. I don’t relish of telling agents I was, and am not, but will be a member of ACTRA. But eventually I will bite the bullet. Perhaps they could simply follow the blog and I wont wind up explaining the almost unexplainable, not to mention unbelievable story of how and why I essentially disappeared from traditional view.

And I’m not doing music. At days away from 66 I’m on a meagrely  pension and I live a modest existence.

From 2018 to 2020 I had the position of School Crossing Guard, on the payroll of the Halifax Regional Police and working for the Halifax Regional Municipality (HRM). I liked it actually. Not the attention and accolades I was used to but I was protecting children (and adults), people relied on me and received some extra cash. It gave me a routine and that something I never had. At one point. during those two years I actually felt happy normal and content. Sort of a rush all things considered.

But now my body feels so wracked and ruined I feel I can’t even do that. Neither do I want to. I burned out on that methinks.

No haven’t been doing much and I am desperately seeking answers and solutions.

And so I blog.

SCREAMERS and CARDBOARD BRAINS at The Horseshoe Tavern, October 31, 1978

 I remember being on the set of CINOFRENIC and having to go to open for The Screamers later that night. Cathryn Gilday of the Toronto Globe and Mail gave us a very nice review entitled “Cardboard Brains Just Fine”.

CINOFRENIC (1978)

 This is in response to a comment by unknown. I “star” in CINOFRENIC, as “Paul”. To the best of my knowledge Cardboard Brains does not perform in the film but Mike Nightmare and The Ugly does. I think The B-Girls also perform, and I can’t remember who else does. I probably wasn’t there that day.

IMDB probably has more info on CINOFRENIC. Vince Carlucci would remember if Cardboard Brains performed in the film. I’m occasionally asked about it and if a copy is available. Again I don’t know. Eventually one will surface. Apparently it’s got some good footage of bands like The Ugly. I will always remember seeing Mike Nightmare spinning his mic around and singing: “Your not living in the real world!”. RIP Mike Nightmare. Thanks for the comment. JPY . And no, I don’t perform any music in the film. However we did in The Gate (1986). More about that shortly.

Mine damer og Herrer, kommer Metal Messias til dere!

 Well yesterday’s post got seven views so far. At least somebody is paying attention. So far I’ve been using my 10.5 inch seventh generation iPad and Magic Keyboard. It’s a great little device and as I may have stated earlier it baptised me into the Apple ecosystem. But it’s sort of like typing on a toy because its so puny. I suppose I have to bite the bullet and get a 24 inch M1 iMac if I am to get anywhere in life.

Apple should sponsor me.

I was ripped off for $CDN180.00 today. But when you’ve lost as much money as I have you don’t sweat the small stuff. Purchased www.johnpaulyoung.org. The goal is to get a Wordpress website up and get back in the game.

It’s hard to believe that I have been in Halifax Nova Scotia for coming up ten years. Living in relative obscurity. It’s been nice and peaceful in comparison to the last ten bullshit years circa 2002-2012 that I spent in my hometown of Toronto, Ontario. I spend 50 per cent of my time at my bachelor pad and the rest  of my time with the true love of my life, a little dog named Emmy Lou.

(Okay about a week has gone by folks and I begin again.)

 I believe the title of this post is in Norwegian, and comes from the sub-titles to a frame from the 1978 film Metal Messiah. It was the first feature film by my friend Director Tibor Takacs. Tibor produced the Cardboard brains 1977 White Ep and the 1979 Cardboard Brains Black EP. Tibor also directed one of the last films that I have done Killer Rats with Ron Perlman.

I am  going to stop deleting things. The original post from this blog I deleted, along with a post about being in the 1992 LA riot. I can’t remember if the original post detailed my 2002 kidnapping on Yorkville Avenue or not. So I must re-write and re-post.

BLACK IS MY HEART

 This  morning started with my usual Breakfast of Champions: two Vyvanse, a pickled egg and a cup of coffee. The only thing missing is a high octane energy drink, but that shall surely come. Whatever gets you through the night or day I say.

I didn’t write anything  that day.Thought a lot about it. Curled  up in a ball, lied and bed and confined myself to my thoughts as is my usual fashion. Today breakfast du jour was a Java energy drink, two Vyvanse and a half pack of smokes. I’m going to go on a health kick.

I’m 65 years old now. I came to Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada ten years ago as healthy as a horse, still a man reminiscent of the stud of his youth. In 2013 I was diagnosed with prostate cancer which thankfully is in remission as well as diabetes. However, my mobility is impaired and I have a small basketball for a belly with sticks for arms and legs. I reckon I look like a pregnant spider.

Of course this blog is in its infancy and will go through growing pains. I intend to post regularly so as to feed keywords to all the web crawlers and bots out there and get more views. I really get off on seeing the stats from Google on how many views I get and from which country. And as I write I have one follower besides myself, and for this I am grateful.

Twenty years ago when the internet was just becoming a thing, I had www.johnpaulyoung.com and would check my fan mail first thing in the morning and corresponding with those in France, Austria, Japan etcetera. 

But outrageous fortune played a hand in my life and I effectively disappeared for twenty years.

I didn’t tell anyone but I actually felt the compulsion to snuff myself the past few weeks.

But that would never happen rest assured dear readers.

FUCKED UP and I WANT TO BE A YANK

 Canadian punk band Fucked Up covered Cardboard  Brains “I Want To Be A Yank” from the 1977 White EP. A version of their cover is on CBC Music. Here is the original:

A New Day Has Dawned

I like the idea of reinventing oneself. Having lived in the depths of despair and adversity for so long, I need to believe that I can break free of my affliction and bondage and to prosper. There is a flickering light in my very soul that says I can despite my age and infirmities embrace happiness, health and self actualisation.

A New Day Has Dawned. I just like the sound of it.

I feel sick today. I don’t know what it is but there is an uneasiness in my gut. In conjunction my mind was in the turmoil that has haunted me for at least twenty years. Perhaps optimism is a delusion, but I relentlessly pursue happiness. Not to say that I achieve it, but nevertheless I hunger for and pursue it.

Murder Mayhem Madness. An audacious title and I chuckle inside at the reaction it gets, but nevertheless it holds true as an apt title of my tentative memoirs. It’s sensational but true.

Killer Rats is a film that I did in Bulgaria with Ron Perlman.

(2001)

Okay. I worked for International X-ray Company limited from at least 1969 to 2002. And I did a lot of other things. I am best known as lead singer of my band Cardboard Brains and being award winning recording artist of the album “The Life of Ermie Scub”. So lets get into that.

Here’s my discography:

Cardboard Brains “The White EP” 1977 (Brainco Worldwide)

Cardboard Brains “The Last Pogo” 1978 (BOMB records)

Cardboard Brains “The Black EP” 1979 (Guilt Records)

John Paul Young  “The Life of Ermie Scub” 1980 (Canadian Media Development Company) LP 

John Paul Young “Out Time Escapes”/“Fire Incensed As In Rage” 7 inch 1980.

John Paul Young and Cardboard Brains “Live at The Edge” (CMDC)1981 LP

John Paul Young and Cardboard Brains Compilation CD with added track “World Within a Dream” 1998. (MEG Entertainment).

Cardboard Brains “The White EP” fan re-issue ?

Awards:

1982 CASBY Award winner, Most Promising Recording Artist.

 So I continue to blog. So far its been therapeutic. My spirits are up and that’s a good thing. You would be amazed at what I can accomplish when I feel good.

One of the highlights of my career was backing up one of my favourite bands of all time: The Stranglers. It was during the Feline tour. I thought I would be crucified at Barrymore’s in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. I had witnessed supporting acts suffer an unruly audience waiting for The Stranglers, and I had heard stories. As lead singer I was always the focal point of aggression and I thought I would be intimidated. But it was great.

And it was just three of us. Vince Carlucci on guitar and synth, Pauline Groen on synth bass and PolyMoog and me out front on vocals. And no drummer just a LinnDrum. We actually received an encore. Or two, I don’t recall.